Table of Contents
**Chapter 1:**
The cursor blinked in the chat box, taunting you. You had rewritten your question three times already, each version somehow sounding more embarrassing than the last. Finally, with a deep breath and a silent plea to Celestia, you hit send.
Y/N: “uh. hi. is there like. a trick to getting that one chest near the cliffs in Liyue? bc I swear I have tried everything except offering my soul to Zhongli.”
A reply popped up almost instantly.
GuhuaGuide: “No soul sacrifices needed, promise. Just climb from the eastern side, there’s a ledge you can rest on halfway up. If you want, I can hop into your world and show you. :)”
You stared at the smiley face like it was a prophecy.
A Guhua Guide had answered you.
And not just any guide—the name was familiar. You had seen them everywhere in #questionsplshelp, #newbieplshelp, always responding with annoyingly perfect explanations that made them seem more like a mystical being than an actual person. And now they were offering to help you? Directly?
You scrambled to reply before they could change their mind.
Y/N: “yes pls. before I actually lose my mind.”
**Chapter 2: Co-op or Co-flirt?**
The moment they joined your world, you knew you were doomed.
Not because of the chest—no, they found that in two minutes. But because their in-game model loaded in way too gracefully.
They played Kaedehara Kazuha, and it was entirely unfair. The way they sprinted ahead, effortlessly scaling the cliffs while you fumbled with your stamina bar? Unacceptable. The way they patiently waited when you slipped down (twice), responding only with a casual “lol no worries” instead of judging you? Even worse.
But the worst part?
The way they positioned their character just right so you could see exactly where to jump, their voice in chat guiding you like some kind of gentle, all-knowing traveler.
GuhuaGuide: “Okay, from here, just jump towards me. I’ll catch you if you fall.”
You did not need to take that as romantically as you did.
But you did.
And when you made the jump—barely, mind you—you landed right next to them, your models now standing way too close.
Silence.
A breeze swept through Liyue. Somewhere, an Adeptus probably sighed.
Then—
GuhuaGuide: “See? You got it. I knew you could.”
Oh.
***Oh***.
**Chapter 3: You Have No Right To Be This Nice (Or This Cute)**
You tried to play it cool. You really did.
Y/N: “thx. I was about to set this whole mountain on fire ngl.”
GuhuaGuide: “That’s valid. I’d probably still help you put it out tho.”
Your brain short-circuited.
You were being flirted with.
You were 100% being flirted with.
Right?
*Right???*
And if you were wrong—if this was just normal Guhua Guide behavior—you would simply have to log off and never show your face in the server again.
…But then they sent you a friend request.
And then, a whisper chat.
GuhuaGuide: “if you ever need help again, you can DM me. or y’know. if you just wanna co-op for fun. :)”
You were so doomed.
And maybe, **just maybe**, you didn’t mind.
**Chapter 4: Discord Kitten**
It shouldn’t be this difficult to just send a friend request, but it is. The little button looks harmless, even cute, but you feel like an awkward preteen trying to ask someone out for the first time. Only this time it’s online and over a video game which makes this even worse, somehow.
Well. If everything fails, you can throw your computer into the ocean and move to Sweden to become a reindeer herder.
When you open your eyes, there’s already a little red exclamation point at the “friends” option in your menu. You blink. Did some random player start spamming friend requests down their “recently played” list for Theatre? Another reject, then.
You nearly fall off your chair when you open the notif. The same GuhuaGuide form earlier, complete with their little in game signature, sits there. Is this really true? It’s probably just someone pretending to be them, you tell yourself, opening their character display to search for clues.
Well. Their characters seem to match. The discord history and even Enka cards look identical to what they’ve sent on discord before and even the stats match.
Your stomach drops. Are you really losing your mind over some nerd online? You bury your head in your hands. Shit.
Your discord pings again. You know who it is without looking.
GuhuaGuide: *Aren’t you going to accept my friend req??? <:keqWant:908000006974369802>*
GuhuaGuide: *<:keqshy:1067661035269541918>*
GuhuaGuide: *lmao sorry <:keqblush:1089045769157349446>*
It’s not weird if they sent it first, right?
You: *ahafgdkdhlkagoi im sorry got distracted!!!!!!!*
You: *we friends now <:keqlove:838673744321839105>*
GuhuaGuide: *<:keqcheer:1079650746238238760>*
GuhuaGuide: *thanks kitten*
You: *kitten?*
It’s one question mark. A very normal and casual amount of question marks to use.
GuhuaGuide: *ya*
GuhuaGuide: *<:KeqingFlower:1067614938547376188>*
GuhuaGuide: *Lets play again soon*
GuhuaGuide: *watch the sunset together or something romantic <3*
